Child Custody is a big issue in Canada, which occur when parents of the child pursue divorce.
During separation, each parent want to live with the child/children but as the law dictates, only one parent is granted custody of the child and in most cases it’s the wife.
Normally when the court makes a ruling on who to live with the children, they take into consideration the best interest of a child. If there are grounds that the father is believed to be hostile or irresponsible, the mother is given full custody but if the other is found to be cruel, the father is given full custody of the child.
In many cases the parents agree on joint custody. However, there are times where a parent may want sole custody of children. For example, where a parent has never been involved in a child’s life, is unable to parent, or where a parent must leave the country permanently. In these cases it may make sense for one parent to have sole custody.
If an amicable agreement is not possible then deciding who will get custody and what type it will be, gets determined by the courts. This decision is never made lightly and divorce law sets out some basic principles for a judge to follow when making this important decision.
When determining child custody in Canada, a judge will consider items such as:
- First and foremost the best interest of the children.
- The parent-child relationship and bonding.
- Parenting abilities of each individual.
- Each parent’s mental, physical and emotional health.
- The typical schedule of both parents and children.
- Available support systems of each parent (for example, help and involvement of grandparents or other close relatives).
- Sibling issues. Generally, brothers and sisters will be kept together, but under some circumstances it may be necessary to consider separating them.
- Care arrangements before the separation. Who was the primary care giver?
- The child’s wishes. The Office of the Children’s Lawyer is often appointed by the court to help in determining the child’s wishes. Once a child turns 12 years of age, his or her wishes to live with one parent or another are usually respected by the courts.
Types of Child Custody in Canada:
- Sole Custody – This is when one parent has custody of the children. In this case, the child always resides permanently with the parent having sole custody and the other parent may have access visits.
- Joint Custody – This is where both parents have custody. This is also known as joint legal custody. Courts will normally only awards this type of custody to parents who are able to cooperate on parenting matters. While parents may have joint custody, the residency/access arrangements for the children may vary widely.
- Shared Custody – This is when both parents have joint custody of the children, and both parents spend at least 40% of the time with their children. This is also known as joint physical custody.
- Split Custody – This is when one parent has custody of some of the children, and the other parent has custody of the remaining children. Courts try to never split up up younger children from their siblings. However, older siblings often choose to live with different parents.
Deciding on Child Custody without Going to Court:
Going to trial over custody can be expensive and stressful for both you and your children. Below are some options that parents have to help them reach agreements on parenting arrangements and child custody, without having to go to court.
- Family Mediator– A mediator is generally a person with a legal or social work background. They will have special training in helping people to resolve disputes. A mediator works with both parents to help you to discuss and decide on the best arrangements for your children.
- Lawyers -You and your spouse can retain separate lawyers to help you understand your legal rights and obligations and negotiate an out of court parenting agreement. Another option is to participate in the Collaborative Law process. In this approach a team of Collaborative Family Lawyers which may include Divorce Coaches, Child Specialists and Financial Specialists guide you through the process.
- Therapist – Parents can meet with family therapists, counselors, child psychologists, social workers or any other professionals, who specialize in the effects of separation and divorce on children. The parents can use the knowledge and guidance of these professionals to help them negotiate an agreement.
- Parent-Education Sessions– In Canada many courts will host parent-education sessions. These sessions will present different options for settling issues about separation and divorce and also discuss the impact it has on children.
A couple is usually advised not to settle marriage differences in court because the court might rule against any of them. In case they have children, they can agree to have joint custody without necessarily going to court.
One of the couples who sought assistance from court explains what happened to her:
“I thought the court could help solve my marital problems but I ended up more miserable.
My husband became unfaithful, and out of anger I decided to end the marriage, which was decided by the court.
At first I thought it was wise to live with the children without involving their father but after some time they started asking many questions regarding the father—I had to allow them visit the father every week.
This time I have been out of marriage, I haven’t found the happiness that I believed could come out of freedom—I am more lonely and empty inside.
I will say divorce is not the best thing for a couple”